Kyoya messes up
by OuranHero
Summary: Based on the Egoistic Club of one of the volumes of OHSHC.
1. TV, Remote

"Tamaki, what type of tea is this?" asked one of Tamaki's fangirls.

"Only the best for the princess." said Tamaki seductively. The fangril blushed when Tamaki lifted her face to his, causing a roar of excitement from all of the other fangirls. Haruhi raised her eyebrow, which was twitching with annoyance.

"Haruhi, you're spacing out!" giggled of of Haruhi's own fangirls. The number of her fangirls had grown in number quite alot in the last few weeks.

"Sorry, I just can't seem to concentrate today." said Haruhi with a smile. The fangirls squealed, and Tamaki's face turned red. _She's so cute~!_ he thought happily.

"So, this guy, he watched a horror movie, and came to me, _crying-" _began Hikaru, but Kouru cut him off.

"Hikaru, not that story!" he yelled, tears welling up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kouru, but you were just so _cute _then, I couldn't help myself!" He shouted, his voice full of emotion.

"Hikaru!" shouted Kouru, receiving more squeals.

In the meantime, Tamaki had ran up to Haruhi and started twirling her around and around happily. "Tamaki, get off!" she yelled. Mori had come up behind them, though, and pulled Haruhi up onto his shoulder.

"Uh, thanks, Mori..." she said as Tamaki immediatly went into his corner to grow mushrooms.

"Haru-_chan_, Haru-_chan_, let's have cake together!" shouted Hunny. Mori put Haruhi down and she nodded. Tamaki peeked over his shoulder. _How nice..._ he thought as he poked a mushroom.

Kyoya smiled and wrote something down on his clipboard. "Tamaki, get up now and entertain you're guests!" he said calmly, but his tone suggested otherwise. Tamaki flinched and got up quickly, running to where his guests were waiting with smiles plastered to their faces.

After the girls left, Tamaki remembered something. "Wait a second!" shouted Tamaki urgently, and all faces turned towards him. "Haruhi never did get giant tuna! Kyoya, make a call!"

Kyoya sighed and brought out what he thought was his phone, and put it up to his ear. Hikaru, Haruhi, and Kouru stared at the T.V. remote in Kyoya's hand. _Oh my God..._ they thought. Kyoya looked at the remote in his hand. He stared and stared at it.

_If it was Tamaki, we could just laugh at him._ thought the twins. Kyoya turned to them to see if they had seen him. They all turned quickly, pretending they had seen nothing. Hikaru whipped out a copy of LaLa magazine, and Kyyoya quickly put the remote back in his pocket.

"Ha ha! Look Haruhi, this is funny!" said Kouru, as they all thought in unison, _that was close... _


	2. Milk

It was a normal day at the Host Club, fangirls were squealing, Hosts were wooing, and Haruhi was still shocked at how these girls reacted to them.

Hunny swung around on Mori, his lolita aura in full bloom today. The girls couldn't stand it, and a few were even fainting. Hunny stopped and shouted, "Takashi, lets have some cake!" Mori nodded.

"Oh, lets have some milk too! Milk goes good with cake, and it's healthy too!" Hunny said happily, swinging Bun-Bun (or Usa-_chan_) around as he seated himself at the table.

"Milk is high in calcium." said Mori, who barely ever said anything.

_I still can't beleive that guy is a third-year in highschool..._ thought Haruhi. The twins had crowded Haruhi, one on each side, shouting, "I want milk, I want milk!"

"Get off..." Haruhi mumbled. No one seemed to hear her, not even Mori, who could have gotten her out of this situation. Unfortunatly, some one did hear her.

"You two better get off of my daughter right now!" yelled Tamaki, pulling Haruihi out of their embrace. "Haruhi, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, _senpai_!" she shouted, causing tears to well up in Tamaki's eyes. "You are NOT my father!"

Tamaki retreated to his mushroom corner, where he began to cultivate a new breed of mushroom. "Mother, our daughter doesn't love me anymore.."

"Well, Father, maybe she's just going through a rebelious stage." said Kyoya, causing Tamaki to cry. Again.

"Don't worry, Tama-_chan_! Everyone can have some milk!" Hunny said. Everyone, even Kyoya, gathered around Hunny as he gave each of them a glass of milk.

Kyoya took a drink before everyone else, even Hunny's fangirls. "Mmm, tastes good." he sighed. Everyone stared at him. He looked around and noticed it.

_Oh, no not again!_ Haruhi thought. Kyoya had a milk moustache. In front of all the costumers. Everyone started to sweat as Kyoya pulled out a napkin and finally wiped off the milk moustache. Everyone sighed when he didn't freak out, but just continued writing on his clipboard.

_Oh, dear God, I hope he doesn't mess up again..._ they all thought as everyone finished their milk.


	3. Chairs

"Kouru couldn't finish his homework, and pulled an all nighter, when he came running to me in a _panic_-" began Hikaru once again.

"Hikaru, I told you not to tell them about that!" Kouru said.

"I'm sorry, Kouru." said Hikaru, pulling his brother's face closer to his. Yet again, the fangirls began to squeal. It had been a while since Kyoya had gotten his milk moustache, and no one thought he would mess up again. Kyoya was entertaining guests.

Tamaki was being his usual seductive self. When he saw how cute Haruhi was being, he fell out of his chair, knocking it down.

"Tamaki, are you alright?" asked a girl, concerned.

"As long as I'm with you." he said.

Hikaru and Kouru were laughing hysterically, shouting "The foolish king, the foolish king!" over and over again, with their arms wrapped around Haruhi. She herself was surpressing giggles at Tamaki's foolishness.

Everyone was having so much fun laughing at him that they didn't pick up the chair, and none of the customers noticed.

Hunny picked up a peice of strawberry cake with his fork and shoved the whole thing in his mouth. "Mitsukuni, don't eat too much at a time." said Mori.

"Don't worry!" said Hunny happily, swinging his feet below him, since they didn't touch the floor.

Kyoya was walking around, writing things down and speaking to guests in a happy tone. He walked right into the fallen chair, and tripped over it, falling flat on his face.

"Noooo!" yelled Tamaki, knowing it was his fault, and that Kyoya would NOT be happy.

All of the guests stared. All of the Hosts stared. Tamaki was covered in sweat now. Kyoya got up and pushed his glasses up.

"Tamaki, when you knock down a chair, make sure you put it back up again." he said calmly, but his inner voice was full of rage and humiliation.

"Y-yeah..." he said. Tamaki walked over to the chair, pushed it back into it's proper position, and resolved to beg for forgiveness later.

_Why does this keep happening?_ thought everyone in the room, including Kyoya. He had to go through the rest of the day with a red mark on his face from where he fell.


	4. Words

"Haruhi, what's your favorite colour?" asked a girl.

"Whatever you like." said Haruhi, stealing one of Tamaki's lines. Tamaki was watching intently and he squealed like a fangirl when he heard her say one of his lines. His face turned red and he jumped up to hug Haruhi.

"_S__enpai _get off!" she yelled, her voice muffled.

The twins laughed at Tamaki when he retreated to his emo corner, giving the mushroom corner a break. "Ha ha, nice job, Milord!" they laughed in unison.

"Hey, Takashi, Tama's pretty silly, huh?" said Hunny. He swung his feet underneath him.

"Hunny, I made a cake for you!" said one of Hunny's fangirls.

"Oh, thanks!" Hunny said happily, "I bet it's yummy!" he hugged bun-bun, adding to his loli aura. He ate the cake in one bite, but in a cute way.

"It's amazing!" he said, and received many squeals.

Kyoya smiled._ Less money I have to spend on Hunny's sweet tooth._ he thought. He pushed up his glasses and observed the club. He noticed the twins dancing around Tamaki, who was sitting in his emo corner.

"You two! Get back to your guests!" Kyoya told them.

"Whatever." they sighed, and immediatly returned to their guests, who were waiting happily.

"And Tamya... Tamaki... you get back to your guests too." he said, and felt his face heat up. He had messed up, again.

The twins could hardly surpress their giggles, and even Haruhi had a hard time not laughing at him. He had been messing up so much they weren't sure if it was all right to laugh at them or not. Haruhi stopped, and was sure if he caught her laughing, he would raise her debt.

The twins were covering their mouths to keep from laughing. Tamaki was scared, and ran back to his guests.

_Why? _thought Kyoya as he pushed up his glasses and went on with the day.


	5. Banana!

"Yum!" shouted Hunny. Mori looked at Hunny, concern on his face. Haruhi could never tell whether or not he meant it.

"Make sure to brush your teeth after you eat that much cake." he said.

"Yeah!" shouted Hunny, throwing Usa-_chan_ in the air.

"Tamaki, why is your voice so soft today?" asked a fangirl.

"So it will please your ears." he said seductively, raising her face closer to his.

_I will never understand these girls, _Haruhi thaught, but she was focused more on Kyoya. He had been loosing his nerve in the past few weeks, and now Haruhi was almost too afraid to get close to him.

_The Dark Lord, The Dark Lord..._ thought the twins nervously as they avoided Kyoya's intense gaze. The girls wouldn't notice it, but he was really loosing it.

Tamaki was especially nervous, making sure he didn't do anything to make Kyoya mad. Like hide in his mushroom/emo corners.

Kyoya was being carefull, making sure he didn't fall over chairs or stumble over words. Or drink any milk. And hhe had made sure his phone was in his pocket, and he had not mistaken it for a remote.

A picture of a monkey flashed in everyone's minds, and it was eating a banana.

_Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!_ everyone thought. A banana peel appeared underneath Kyoya's foot, and he slipped on it.

"Ba-na-na!" he shouted, surprised. His legs ended up in a split on the ground, and it was painful.

No one bothered to help him up, because he was fuming. He slowly arose from his split, and it was as if Tamaki had woken him up on a weekend.

"Why?" he shouted out loud. "Why did you do those things to me? I HATE YOU OURANHERO!" He shouted in a very un-Kyoya like way.

No one dared to move. "Um, who?" asked Tamaki timidly.

"Ah, nothing, excuse me." said Kyoya, and pushed up his glasses. The rest of the year went as normal, and Kyoya never lost his cool again, because he hurt OuranHero's feelings.


End file.
